I decided to write this blog not as a blog originally, but as a story about the experience of being bi-racial in America. As I sat down to start writing I couldn't decide where to begin, so instead, I decided to chronicle my life as I try to sort through the end of my twenties and grasp the true meaning of "mixed in America".
Things have changed drastically since I was a child. I can remember walking into restaurants with my father and having people stare trying to figure out how/if we were related. I can remember having trouble making friends at times - I was too dark for the white girls and too light for the blacks girls, and I can also remember having the mothers of boys that I was dating look me up and down - and up and down - and up and down - trying to place my ethnicity. Even now, not a day goes by that someone doesn't ask "what are you?". Granted, now there is a bi-racial President and more and more couples are breaking race lines for love, but given the stigma attached to bi-racial couples one can only imagine the struggles of their children whose loving parents may not be able to truly identify with the experience of not feeling like you belong.
I believe that my search for my identity has taken me on some unexpected journeys, from trying to pledge a "white" sorority in a desperate attempt to fit in at my southern baptist university, to enrolling at Howard university for my post-grad studies to try and find a home there. Not all of my journeys have been comfortable, and I can say that my bumpy ride is far from over, but I'm hoping this blog can be as therapeutic in my self-discovery process as it is entertaining for you.
Now don't be scared, I don't plan to delve into the murky waters of racial discussion everyday. In fact, I think you will find as you follow me from day to day that my life is punctuated as much by absurdity as it is by profundity. My posts will take you through my daily struggles as I try to find true love (which has as of yet evaded me) as well as understanding how I am perceived by others and learning not to really care.
And so, my journey begins here, one month from my 30th birthday, slowly inching closer to understanding what race means and why it does or doesn't matter.
